Alan Chu

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Alan Chu
488px-Chewbaccaheadshot.jpg
Pledge Class Zlatkovich Class, Fall 2011
Pledge Group Group 13
Family Close
Big Bro(s) Dennis Wong

Family and Associations

Offices and Positions

Accomplishments and Awards

Alan Chu Facts

  • He looks like an airbender
  • Chemistry Wizard of Close
  • When Alexander Bell invented the telephone, he had missed calls from Alan Chu
  • Fear of spiders is aracnaphobia, fear of tight spaces is chlaustraphobia, fear of Alan Chu is called Logic
  • Alan Chu won American Idol using only sign language
  • Alan Chu eats the core of an apple first.
  • Ghosts sit around the campfire and tell Alan Chu stories.
  • Alan Chu doesn't call the wrong number. You answer the wrong phone.
  • If Alan Chu smiled at you, you would put it on your resume.
  • Once the cop pulled over Alan Chu....the cop was lucky to leave with a warning.
  • Alan Chu is the reason why The Birds are angry
  • Alan Chu won the World Series of Poker using Pokemon cards
  • Alan Chu has a grizzly bear carpet in his room. The bear isn't dead it is just afriad to move.
  • There used to be a street named after Alan Chu, but it was changed because nobody crosses Alan Chu and lives.
  • Alan Chu died 10 years ago, Death just hasn't built up the courage to tell him yet.
  • Alan Chu has already been to Mars; that's why there are no signs of life.
  • Did you know Alan Chu had a role in Star Wars......he was the force.
  • Some magicians can walk on water, Alan Chu can swim through land.
  • When Alan Chu rides into the sunset, the sun is actually running from him.
  • Alan Chu can eat rice with one chop stick
  • Alan Chu ran the Boston Marathon backwards just to see what second place looked like.
  • Alan Chu can cut through a hot knife with butter
  • Alan Chu once urinated in a semi truck's gas tank as a joke....that truck is now known as Optimus Prime.
  • Alan Chu and Superman once fought each other on a bet. The loser had to start wearing his underwear on the outside of his pants.
  • Alan Chu can start a fire by rubbing two ice cubes together.
  • Bill Gates lives in fear Alan Chu's PC will crash.
  • Alan Chu can stare at the sun, and the sun gets blind
  • When Alan Chu puts milk on Rice Krispies they keep quiet.
  • Alan Chu doesn't flush the toilet, he scares the sh*t out of it
  • Alan Chu knows the letter after Z.
  • Alan Chu wrote a book on how to read.
  • Alan Chu can kill two stones with one bird.
  • If Charlie Sheen is winning, it's only because Alan Chu isn't playing.
  • Alan Chu finished the Never Ending Story.
  • Alan Chu is the reason why Waldo is hiding.
  • Alan Chu once drowned a fish underwater.
  • Alan Chu can do a wheelie on a unicycle
  • Alan Chu counted to infinity - twice.
  • Alan Chu can't lose at dodgeball because the ball is nowhere stupid enough to hit Alan Chu
  • Alan Chu had a fever once, Now we have global warming.
  • Death once had a near-Alan Chu experience
  • Alan Chu doesn't age. He levels up
  • Kids go to bed with a teddy bear Alan Chu goes to bed with a grizzly bear.
  • When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Alan Chu.
  • Alan Chu was once stabbed by a knife, the knife bled to death.
  • Alan Chu can slam a revolving door.
  • When Alan Chu reads a Alan Chu Fact, he doesn't laugh. He simply nods.
  • Alan Chu puts the laughter in slaughter.
  • When Alan Chu went to the Virgin Islands, they became the Islands.
  • If you have five dollars and Alan Chu has five dollars, Alan Chu has more money than you.
  • Alan Chu can touch MC Hammer.
  • If at first you don't succeed, you're not Alan Chu.
  • Some people wear Superman pajamas. Superman wears Alan Chu pajamas.
  • When Alan Chu does a pushup, he isn't lifting himself up, he's pushing the Earth down.
  • Alan Chu can rob a bank by phone.
  • Alan Chu can win a game of Connect Four in only three moves.
  • Alan Chu can unscramble an egg.
  • Alan Chu doesnt wear a watch. He decides what time it is.
  • Alan Chu can tie his shoes with his feet.
  • Alan Chu threw a grenade and killed 50 people and then the grenade exploded.
  • The only time Alan Chu was wrong was when he thought he made a mistake.
  • Alan Chu sleeps with a pillow under his gun.
  • Some people break the law of the state. Alan Chu breaks the law of physics.
  • Alan Chu doesn't actually have to eat. Food just uses his body for protection.
  • Angelina Jolie adopts an orphan once a year. Alan Chu adopts an orphan once a minute.
  • Stevie Wonder was the last person to stare Alan Chu in the eyes.
  • Silly rabbit, Trix are for Alan Chu
  • gmail@alanchu.com
  • Alan Chu is the reason why Voldemort does not have a nose.
  • If Alan Chu was on Minute to Win It, they would need 59 seconds of filler.
  • Alan Chu has never had a surprise party. Because it is impossible to surprise Alan Chu.
  • Growing up, Alan Chu had 4 pet turtles. We now know them as the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.
  • They once made an Alan Chu toilet paper, but it wouldn't take sh*t from anybody.
  • Alan Chu is what Willis was talking about.
  • Alan Chu knows the last digit of pi.
  • Alan Chu can hum dubstep songs.
  • Have you seen Alan Chu's website? It's called the internet.
  • Alan Chu once shot a home movie in his basement. After going through several titles, he settled with Star Wars.
  • When Alan Chu looks into the mirror, his reflection asks him for an autograph.
  • When Alan Chu comes to your house, you are the guest.
  • When Alan Chu runs into Chewbacca, Chewbacca turns into Alan Chu.