Alan Chu

Alan Chu
Pledge Class	Zlatkovich Class, Fall 2011
Pledge Group	Group 13
Family	Close
Big Bro(s)	Dennis Wong

Family and Associations

• Sponsor(s): Alexander Nguyen, Sherry Chen
• Pledge Trainers: Brusly Jone Voong, Cynthia Nguyen
• Big Bro: Dennis Wong

Offices and Positions

• Fall 2011 (Zlatkovich): Spokesperson

Alan Chu Facts

• He looks like an airbender
• When Alexander Bell invented the telephone, he had missed calls from Alan Chu
• Fear of spiders is aracnaphobia, fear of tight spaces is chlaustraphobia, fear of Alan Chu is called Logic
• Alan Chu won American Idol using only sign language
• Alan Chu eats the core of an apple first.
• Ghosts sit around the campfire and tell Alan Chu stories.
• Alan Chu doesn't call the wrong number. You answer the wrong phone.
• If Alan Chu smiled at you, you would put it on your resume.
• Once the cop pulled over Alan Chu....the cop was lucky to leave with a warning.
• Alan Chu is the reason why The Birds are angry
• Alan Chu won the World Series of Poker using Pokemon cards
• Alan Chu has a grizzly bear carpet in his room. The bear isn't dead it is just afriad to move.
• There used to be a street named after Alan Chu, but it was changed because nobody crosses Alan Chu and lives.
• Alan Chu died 10 years ago, Death just hasn't built up the courage to tell him yet.
• Alan Chu has already been to Mars; that's why there are no signs of life.
• Did you know Alan Chu had a role in Star Wars......he was the force.
• Some magicians can walk on water, Alan Chu can swim through land.
• When Alan Chu rides into the sunset, the sun is actually running from him.
• Alan Chu can eat rice with one chop stick
• Alan Chu ran the Boston Marathon backwards just to see what second place looked like.
• Alan Chu can cut through a hot knife with butter
• Alan Chu once urinated in a semi truck's gas tank as a joke....that truck is now known as Optimus Prime.
• Alan Chu and Superman once fought each other on a bet. The loser had to start wearing his underwear on the outside of his pants.
• Alan Chu can start a fire by rubbing two ice cubes together.
• Bill Gates lives in fear Alan Chu's PC will crash.
• Alan Chu can stare at the sun, and the sun gets blind
• When Alan Chu puts milk on Rice Krispies they keep quiet.
• Alan Chu doesn't flush the toilet, he scares the sh*t out of it
• Alan Chu knows the letter after Z.
• Alan Chu wrote a book on how to read.
• Alan Chu can kill two stones with one bird.
• If Charlie Sheen is winning, it's only because Alan Chu isn't playing.
• Alan Chu finished the Never Ending Story.
• Alan Chu is the reason why Waldo is hiding.
• Alan Chu once drowned a fish underwater.
• Alan Chu can do a wheelie on a unicycle
• Alan Chu counted to infinity - twice.
• Alan Chu can't lose at dodgeball because the ball is nowhere stupid enough to hit Alan Chu
• Alan Chu had a fever once, Now we have global warming.
• Death once had a near-Alan Chu experience
• Alan Chu doesn't age. He levels up
• Kids go to bed with a teddy bear Alan Chu goes to bed with a grizzly bear.
• When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Alan Chu.
• Alan Chu was once stabbed by a knife, the knife bled to death.
• Alan Chu can slam a revolving door.
• When Alan Chu reads a Alan Chu Fact, he doesn't laugh. He simply nods.
• Alan Chu puts the laughter in slaughter.
• When Alan Chu went to the Virgin Islands, they became the Islands.
• If you have five dollars and Alan Chu has five dollars, Alan Chu has more money than you.
• Alan Chu can touch MC Hammer.
• If at first you don't succeed, you're not Alan Chu.
• Some people wear Superman pajamas. Superman wears Alan Chu pajamas.
• When Alan Chu does a pushup, he isn't lifting himself up, he's pushing the Earth down.
• Alan Chu can rob a bank by phone.
• Alan Chu can win a game of Connect Four in only three moves.
• Alan Chu can unscramble an egg.
• Alan Chu doesnt wear a watch. He decides what time it is.
• Alan Chu can tie his shoes with his feet.
• Alan Chu threw a grenade and killed 50 people and then the grenade exploded.
• The only time Alan Chu was wrong was when he thought he made a mistake.
• Alan Chu sleeps with a pillow under his gun.
• Some people break the law of the state. Alan Chu breaks the law of physics.
• Alan Chu doesn't actually have to eat. Food just uses his body for protection.
• Angelina Jolie adopts an orphan once a year. Alan Chu adopts an orphan once a minute.
• Stevie Wonder was the last person to stare Alan Chu in the eyes.
• Silly rabbit, Trix are for Alan Chu
• gmail@alanchu.com
• Alan Chu is the reason why Voldemort does not have a nose.
• If Alan Chu was on Minute to Win It, they would need 59 seconds of filler.
• Alan Chu has never had a surprise party. Because it is impossible to surprise Alan Chu.
• Growing up, Alan Chu had 4 pet turtles. We now know them as the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.
• They once made an Alan Chu toilet paper, but it wouldn't take sh*t from anybody.
• Alan Chu is what Willis was talking about.
• Alan Chu knows the last digit of pi.