Jonathan Su

Jonathan Su
Pledge Class	Serrano Class, Spring 2012
Pledge Group	Group 16
Big Bro(s)	Dara Lan

Family & Associations

• Member of Close Family
• Member of SHOT Line

• Big Bro: Dara Lan
• Lil Bro: Teresa Bang

• Sponsor(s): Vincent Tam, Junsheng Lin
• Sponsoree: Alice Le, Yasmin Garcia

• Serrano Group 16: NOT OBSCENE!!!
• Pledge Trainers: Phuc Le and Chloe Grinberg
• Group Mates: Tony Phan and Cassandra Yee

Offices and Positions

• Spring 2012 (Serrano): Spokesperson
• Fall 2012 (Harty): SAA

Jonathan Su Facts

• He looks like an airbender
• Chemistry Wizard of Close
• When Alexander Bell invented the telephone, he had missed calls from Jonathan Su
• Fear of spiders is aracnaphobia, fear of tight spaces is chlaustraphobia, fear of Jonathan Su is called Logic
• Jonathan Su won American Idol using only sign language
• Jonathan Su eats the core of an apple first.
• Ghosts sit around the campfire and tell Jonathan Su stories.
• Jonathan Su doesn't call the wrong number. You answer the wrong phone.
• If Jonathan Su smiled at you, you would put it on your resume.
• Once the cop pulled over Jonathan Su....the cop was lucky to leave with a warning.
• Jonathan Su is the reason why The Birds are angry
• Jonathan Su won the World Series of Poker using Pokemon cards
• Jonathan Su has a grizzly bear carpet in his room. The bear isn't dead it is just afriad to move.
• There used to be a street named after Jonathan Su, but it was changed because nobody crosses Jonathan Su and lives.
• Jonathan Su died 10 years ago, Death just hasn't built up the courage to tell him yet.
• Jonathan Su has already been to Mars; that's why there are no signs of life.
• Did you know Jonathan Su had a role in Star Wars......he was the force.
• Some magicians can walk on water, Jonathan Su can swim through land.
• When Jonathan Su rides into the sunset, the sun is actually running from him.
• Jonathan Su can eat rice with one chop stick
• Jonathan Su ran the Boston Marathon backwards just to see what second place looked like.
• Jonathan Su can cut through a hot knife with butter
• Jonathan Su once urinated in a semi truck's gas tank as a joke....that truck is now known as Optimus Prime.
• Jonathan Su and Superman once fought each other on a bet. The loser had to start wearing his underwear on the outside of his pants.
• Jonathan Su can start a fire by rubbing two ice cubes together.
• Bill Gates lives in fear Jonathan Su's PC will crash.
• Jonathan Su can stare at the sun, and the sun gets blind
• When Jonathan Su puts milk on Rice Krispies they keep quiet.
• Jonathan Su doesn't flush the toilet, he scares the sh*t out of it
• Jonathan Su knows the letter after Z.
• Jonathan Su wrote a book on how to read.
• Jonathan Su can kill two stones with one bird.
• If Charlie Sheen is winning, it's only because Jonathan Su isn't playing.
• Jonathan Su finished the Never Ending Story.
• Jonathan Su is the reason why Waldo is hiding.
• Jonathan Su once drowned a fish underwater.
• Jonathan Su can do a wheelie on a unicycle
• Jonathan Su counted to infinity - twice.
• Jonathan Su can't lose at dodgeball because the ball is nowhere stupid enough to hit Jonathan Su.
• Jonathan Su had a fever once, Now we have global warming.
• Death once had a near-Jonathan Su experience
• Jonathan Su doesn't age. He levels up
• Kids go to bed with a teddy bear, Jonathan Su goes to bed with a grizzly bear.
• When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Jonathan Su.
• Jonathan Su was once stabbed by a knife, the knife bled to death.
• Jonathan Su can slam a revolving door.
• When Jonathan Su reads a Jonathan Su Fact, he doesn't laugh. He simply giggles.
• Jonathan Su puts the laughter in slaughter.
• When Jonathan Su went to the Virgin Islands, they became the Islands.
• If you have five dollars and Jonathan Su has five dollars, Jonathan Su has more money than you.
• Jonathan Su can touch MC Hammer.
• If at first you don't succeed, you're not Jonathan Su.
• Some people wear Superman pajamas. Superman wears Jonathan Su pajamas.
• When Jonathan Su does a pushup, he isn't lifting himself up, he's pushing the Earth down.
• Jonathan Su can rob a bank by phone.
• Jonathan Su can win a game of Connect Four in only three moves.
• Jonathan Su can unscramble an egg.
• Jonathan Su doesnt wear a watch. He decides what time it is.
• Jonathan Su can tie his shoes with his feet.
• Jonathan Su threw a grenade and killed 50 people and then the grenade exploded.
• The only time Jonathan Su was wrong was when he thought he made a mistake.
• Jonathan Su sleeps with a pillow under his gun.
• Some people break the law of the state. Jonathan Su breaks the law of physics.
• Jonathan Su doesn't actually have to eat. Food just uses his body for protection.
• Angelina Jolie adopts an orphan once a year. Jonathan Su adopts an orphan once a minute.
• Stevie Wonder was the last person to stare Jonathan Su in the eyes.
• Silly rabbit, Trix are for Jonathan Su
• gmail@jonathansu.com
• Jonathan Su is the reason why Voldemort does not have a nose.
• If Jonathan Su was on Minute to Win It, they would need 59 seconds of filler.
• Jonathan Su has never had a surprise party. Because it is impossible to surprise Jonathan Su.
• Growing up, Jonathan Su had 4 pet turtles. We now know them as the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.
• They once made an Jonathan Su toilet paper, but it wouldn't take sh*t from anybody.
• Jonathan Su is what Willis was talking about.
• Jonathan Su knows the last digit of pi.
• Jonathan Su can hum dubstep songs.
• Have you seen Jonathan Su's website? It's called the internet.
• Jonathan Su once shot a home movie in his basement. After going through several titles, he settled with Star Wars.
• When Jonathan Su looks into the mirror, his reflection asks him for an autograph.
• When Jonathan Su comes to your house, you are the guest.
• When Jonathan Su runs into Chewbacca, Chewbacca turns into Jonathan Su.

TROLOLOL!

• ^Well this looks familiar^

• Has a man-crush on Beverly Wang's big, Evan Chen.
• Is not made out of boyfriend material, courtesy of Wilson Wang.